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  • The end of 3031

    While it probably won’t come as a surprise to anyone who still reads this blog what with the lack of updates for a long time now, it’s time to say goodbye to 3031.

    The archive of old posts will stay up for the foreseeable future, just in case anyone still wants to read them.

    Now, if by some miracle someone out there would like to try picking up after me and start posting translations of 9mm Parabellum Bullet’s blog on this site, contact me — I’d be happy to put someone else in charge of the site. Or, if you already have your own site where you’re translating their blog, do leave a link and I’d be more than happy to tweet it & link any future visitors to your site.

    I had lots of fun translating 9mm’s blog, and while this site will come to its end, my fandom of the band will not. Thank you for reading up until now.

    -Henkka

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    2013/01/26*Staff

    The recording continues!!
    Here’s something to give you an idea of what it looks like:

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    Those of you who read Taki’s column in Guitar Magazine will probably already know this… But Taki-kun is currently hooked on shochu. Thus, in the recording studio he likes to put a black tea bag in a 9mm Iichiko and make “9mm black tea Iichiko”.

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    He doesn’t drink during recording, so he’ll always start sampling it at the end of the day’s work. Keeping the sweetness in balance with honey and granulated sugar, the next batch is currently in production!! It’s great how he’s able to make it so easily with ingredients that are readily available at the studio.

    Also, things like these are piling up at the studio with each passing day. (laughs)

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    The recordings are proceeding favorably!
    Please look forward to it!!

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    2013/01/25*Chihiro

    Heirasshai! Kyapikyapi. )^o^(

    Feeling extremely down after coming up with “Studio Zubari: Koto wo Sumaseba” (“Studio Sticking It In: Getting It Over With” — a parody of “Studio Ghibli: Mimi wo Sumaseba”) only after putting up yesterday’s blog, I’m Chihiro!

    I went and visited all kinds of music shops! Buying things from non-Japanese makers is so bothersome. (´-`) They don’t even list ’em up on the net. Blehhh.

    But since I wanted to check how they sound with my own ears, I made my way to several shops in Akiba, Shinjuku and Shibuya.

    Isn’t that kinda pro drummer-ish of me?! Kyahaha. ☆~(ゝ。∂) I’m not just a blogger, you know! )^o^(

    Me, I’m a drummer! ♪
    … I’m not Tachi Hiroshi.
    I’m Tachihiro! (Note: For the “Ta“, Chihiro used the kanji for “erection.”)

    Sorry for the lame joke. Pussy!

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    2013/01/24*Chihiro

    Yes yes, babylon babylon. )^o^(

    The second I stand up, going all “alright, let’s do this!“, my parents ask me if I’ve done my homework and I thus lose all motivation for everything. This is Chihiro, the boy who strayed from the right path!

    So I went to look around at TSUTAYA!

    I had no intention of renting anything, but I went to see the porn section anyway. Looking at porn parody film titles and names of sex establishments and stuff is one of my hobbies, you see. I’m still searching for a title that can beat the Titanic parody “Paipanic ~Anata no Kokan ga DiCaprio~” )^o^( (Note: “Oppai Panic ~Your Nether Region is DeCaprio~” — the pun in the subtitle basically means “you have a huge cock.”)

    By the way, here are some more works I’ve discovered that have wonderful titles!
    ※ In case you don’t know the original titles, I’ve included them in the parenthesis below. I’m so thoughtful!

    ○ Soreike! Paipanman (Go Shave It! Shaved Pubic Area Man)
    (Soreike! Anpanman)

    ○ Pirates of the Caribinbin yan (Pirates of the Cari– Hey, You’re All Hard)
    (Pirates of the Caribbean)

    ○ FUCK TO THE TEACHER
    (BACK TO THE FUTURE)

    ○ Nude of the Rings: Ou no Kokan (Nude of the Rings: The Nether Region of the King)
    (Lord of the Rings: Ou no Kikan)

    ○ Sokkou Yarou B Team (Quick Cummers B Team)
    (Tokkou Yarou A Team)

    ○ 20 Centimeter Shounen (20cm Boys)
    (20seiki Shounen)

    ○ 2001nen Chikyuu no Tabi (2001: A Pubic Mound Odyssey)
    (2001nen Uchuu no Tabi)

    ○ Saki Dase!! Otoko Jiru (Get It Out!! Man Juice)
    (Sakigake!! Otokojaku)

    ○ Sailor Fuku to Hitobanjuu, starring: Yoku Shimaru Asoko (All Night Long with the Sailor Fuku, starring: A Nice and Tight Hole)
    (Sailor Fuku to Kikanjuu, starring: Yakushimaru Hiroko)

    ○ Sex Anta to Shitee (Sex: I Want to Have It With You)
    (Sex and the City)

    ○ Ero-mu-gai no Akumu: Motto Koshi wo Furete (A Nightmare on Porn Street: Do Me Faster)
    (Elm-gai no Akumu: Freddie no Fukushuu)

    ○ Gaki no Koshi Tsukai ya Arahende!! (This Way of Fucking Ain’t for Brats!!)
    (Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!)

    ○ Aan Iyaan Man (“Ohh! Ahhhhh!” Man)
    (Iron Man)

    The people who came up with these are all geniuses! I don’t think I could beat any one of those!!
    The best I can do is “All Nippon Airways ANAl” and “Bitch Note”.
    I still have a long way to go. ☆ ~(ゝ。∂)

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    2013/01/23*Chihiro

    Yaa yaa, npanpa! )^o^(
    When I get tired of thinking, I always fall back on making poop jokes. I’m Chihiro!

    I went to a drummers’ drinking party yesterday. I joined in after our recording, so it was already the afterparty for everyone else. They were already drunk off their asses. (^。^)

    After a while, this young guy started throwing up. Waaahh.
    … Dammit. What’s with these young people these days!
    And man… chew your meals more properly!!
    The bits of food were huge!

    … I feel filthy just writing about it so I’ll stop!
    Good night!

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    2013/01/22*Chihiro

    Yo yo! Pakopakopan. )^o^(
    I’m the warm and compassionate Chihiro — cheering up people who are feeling down with insincere words!

    Curry. I want to eat some curry.

    I can’t take it anymore. I was looking at a porn magazine that said “100 shops where you can have ___ with young girls!” and my mind inserted “curry” into the blank space.

    At this point, I want to become one of the ingredients. I want to melt into it. I want to become one and the same with curry!! As to which ingredient I want to become? Hmm, today I kind of feel like… let’s see… onion! (^o^)/ And tomorrow, let’s see… potato! )^o^(

    What do you all want to become?

    Huh? You want to become unko?

    Unkoro.
    Unkoro unkoro.
    Unko korokoro mu pyoko pyoko.

    Yeah, you’re right, they do sound similar!

    (Note: Referring to Japanese tongue twister “Hyoko pyoko pyoko mi pyoko pyoko awasete pyoko pyoko mu pyoko pyoko.”)

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    2013/01/21*Chihiro

    Hebushi. Paopaao! )^o^(
    I’m Chihiro, aka the red sweet pea that bloomed at the river banks of your heart!

    Getting right to it: I hereby announce that the first official body hair length contest has now begun!

    The hairs that have entered are listed below! From top to bottom on the human body: head hair, eyebrow, eyelash, nostril hair, facial hair, armpit hair, arm hair, abdominal hair, pubic hair, ass hair, leg hair, villus hair… There’s a good turnout of all sorts of individuals.

    There are a great many ways to draw comparisons from. There’s the inherent keratin level that determines how well your fingers run through it, the gloss and resilience, the smoothness of the cuticle, the artistic, beautiful, curly waviness, etc, etc… However!! This time we will be judging the hairs purely on their length!

    Oh, what’s this!?!

    The head hair is already showing a great lead! It looks to be the front runner by an extraordinary margin! It’s proportions are evident! There is no doubt as to its appearance! It’s already to the point where there is no need for any more second guessing!

    Thus, the very first grand champion is head hair!!
    Congratulations!! (^з^)-☆
    Oh, and that’s nostril hair in second place.

    …Enough with this already.

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    2013/01/20*Chihiro

    Heya. Bainbaiiin! )^o^(
    I actually didn’t want to be a musician. I wanted to become an idol! I’m Chihiro!

    I thought of stage names to oppose Matsuko Deluxe — “answer names” if you will.

    ○ Chihiro Detox
    … I’m the antitoxin of your heart!

    ○ Chihiro Xerox
    … Kamijo-san, go make a copy of this.

    ○ Chihiro AIR MAX 95
    … MAX is getting hunted! I’m going to be kidnaaapped.

    ○ Chihiro Topics
    … Today’s Tokyo Stock Price Index closed at 999.99 points, an improvement over yesterday’s 99.9!

    ○ Chihiro Fenix
    … I’ll be reborn however many times it takes!!

    ○ Chihiro Botox
    … I’ll help you relax both your body and your mind. ☆☆☆

    ○ Chihiro Avex
    … Oh no! I can’t stay with EMI MUSIC JAPAN!

    ○ Chihiro Shidax
    … Yay yay! Let’s sing and be excited!

    ○ Chihiro Enix
    … I won’t go to school before I beat Dragon Quest!

    ○ Chihiro Relax
    … Let’s try doing nothing at all. Together.

    ○ Chihiro Orthodox
    … Simple is best. I like you best when you’re natural.

    ○ Chihiro Lolita Complex
    … Don’t eat sekihan! You can’t become an adult!

    ○ Chihiro Sex
    … Woohoo! )^o^( Sex!

    I can’t… come up with… any more… I’m tired from thinking so much.

    But today I’m Chihiro Climax! Kyaha! ☆~(ゝ。∂)

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    2013/01/20*Staff

    「Recording days」

    HERE came to hang out with us in studio today! ☆ They brought us a sample of their first album “Shinu Kurai Daisuki Aishiteru Baka Mitai” that’s released on 3/6.

    And they brought us snacks, too!! These apparently enjoyed great popularity during HERE’s own recording, too… Sylveine and Elise!! Also… Bikkuriman! ヽ( ̄▽ ̄)ノ

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    Photo: studio catering

    Thank you.
    There’s no doubt that today is going to be another good day of recordings!!

    x2_1093d7ea

    Photo: 9mm Parabellum Bullet × HERE

    【HERE】
    http://www.here-web.com/

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    2013/01/19*Chihiro

    Hohohoi, fugafugaa! )^o^(
    With a train of thought on the verge of being short as always, I’m Chihiro!! I want to meet you right away!

    There was this baby inside the train held by its mother, and it was staring at me intently so I kindly smiled at it, only to have it start crying. Dammit.

    The mother approached me and said “Excuse me, could you please stop that?
    It made me hope for a rapid destruction of this world. (^з^)-☆

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