Posts by Chihiro

2007/12/06＊Kamijo

『My Wife, A Rice Shop Owner ～The Sexual Excitement of the Danchi Wife～』

Yes yes yes yes.
I love upper arms. This is Chihiro.

Not just the upper arms, I love the nape of the neck, too.
Also the fluffy hair and the characteristic womanly line of the body.
It’s all rather graceful, moving and captivating.
That’s the reason they paint women into pictures, see…

Right now, the 9mm team is in Kagoshima busy with espionage activities. The ramen tonight was delicious. When you’re satisfied with a full stomach, you sure get sleepy. But, throw in some alcohol and you can no longer ignore the sexual lust that builds up. That’s one of the big three human desires, see. Don’t go doing something that feels unnatural and going against your instincts like an idiot, pretending like you’re something you’re not. Don’t be one of those fools.That’s blasphemy against God. You want to be honest with yourself. Don’t be unreasonable.

Outside the hotels, it’s overflowing with free-of-charge information desks, linking the hotels together with the streets. That’s exactly what I mean, there’s no mistaking it: that’s a sign that one needs to strive for sexual enjoyment and pleasure.

I believe it is only after humans go through various experiences in life that they can begin to fairly assess and appreciate everything in the world. Warnings that experiences are bad for you and stuff, don’t pay any heed to bullshit like that.

It’s a ceremonial rite to escape the worldly desires and to reach Nirvana.
Taking the clothes off your frail body is necessary in order to release your soul.

Alright, my time has come. I, Chihiro, will be going now.
Takagi (female manager), please get me no less than three women.

What, no good you say??
I see. Excuse me.
Yes. I’m sorry.

I’ll obediently go back to my room and practice the drums, so please stop kicking my ass.

Having bad luck as always, this was Chihiro.
(Attachment: 9mm as drawn by a fan)

2007/11/27＊Kamijo

『Wipe the tears under your mask.』

This is the season where one’s constantly reminded of the chilliness.
Even before winter arrives for real, it’s already impossible to get out of one’s futon.

Having eaten too big of an evening meal and thus can’t stop farting, this is Chihiro.

I was inside my futon enjoying the peace and quiet when I carelessly started letting loose farts. I kept on insulting my sense of smell like that. The part of a human psychology that makes you want to sniff things even though you know them to be smelly, it reminds you of our fondness for our earthly roots, doesn’t it?

This is the reason humans are unable to give up.

Err.
Though I didn’t actually mean to make this into a fart blog, I inadvertently did just that.

This is the reason humans…

We played a secret show at Shimokitazawa disk union the other day. Thank you all for inviting us to your home. It’s only a couple of days until we have another solo show.

Boiling.
My body’s boiling.

Resembling the feeling of irritation in the foundations of my soul, I’m shaking with an unbearable desire to throw a beat at the audience, exasperating their hatred.

Or to put it in other words, “I’ll do my best.“

Ah, look at the time.
I’ll fart and go to sleep.
Good night.

(Attachment: Suneo¹)

¹ There’s a hand gesture that a character called Suneo uses in Doraemon. I believe this is pretty close to how you should do it. Chihiro’s version, though it may look similar, has a little twist to it: if you look closely, you’ll see that he’s holding his thumb between his index and middle fingers. This essentially means “fuck you.”

2007/11/20＊Chihiro

『Hidebu』

Walking past the piles of fallen leaves at the side of the road,
it feels like autumn’s past us.
How are all of you as of late?

With my pinky’s nail cut to the quick, this is Chihiro.

Ferociously cutting down on my weak nails after taking a bath, this is the result.

It hurts.
A lot. Mm-hmm.

Ever since I was little, I’ve been curious about “numbers.”

I don’t want to boast, but I have confidence in the number of times I’ve cut my fingernails to the quick. “Just how many more times am I going to cut my nails to the quick?” is but one of the questions I’m curious about.

Up until now,
just how many grains of rice I’ve eaten,
or how many millions of yen I’ve spent,
or how many times I’ve struck my snare drum,
or how many pubic hairs I’ve shed, and so on.

Rather, I don’t want to limit myself just to numbers.
I want to know about every event there ever was in the world,
but regretfully my memory capacity just isn’t enough.

Well, at this point it’s useless to worry about it I suppose.
Pretty soon it’s already been 10,000 days since I came to be.

Oh, a nostril hair. I’ll pull it out.
I pulled out three of ’em even.

And they’re long, too.
Amazing.

You guys… I wonder how many came out before you.

(Attachment: Sazae-san, drawn out of a vague memory by an acquaintance of mine.)

2007/10/13＊01:03＊Kamijo

『The reason women wear clothes is for the purpose of then being able to undress them (George Moore)』

I’m embarrassed for staying silent so long.
A rascal in love, this is Chihiro.

The other day on 10/10 our lovely musical composition…
“Deathcommunication” was it?
“Communication desu” was it?
I don’t know what it was, but it was released.

To everyone who bought a copy, I extend my gratitude.

Thanks to you, due to some error, it got to 4th place on the Oricon Single Daily Chart (on 2007/10/12).

I’m sorry. We’re to blame for the situation having gotten this grave.
“These bastards, they raped Oricon!”
Please don’t say anything like that. I hate things like rape.

…And like that, the members along with the staff have an agenda of destroying Oricon.

Nah, we’re actually really delighted.
It stands as the result of slaughtering who knows how many hardships.

The leading force behind making this possible, one of our fans sent me this.
It’s ginseng all the way from Goryeo (refer to attached picture).

This guy’s delicious, faintly sweet and good for recovering from fatigue.
At first it has the taste of ginseng, followed by a lovely mandrake-ish finish.
I’m drinking it habitually.
To the mother of a high school 2nd grader (Ms. C.K.), thank you very muhh (sic).
That’s the same initials as me. Sorry for ripping you off.

And so, since my urinary bladder has gotten fat from drinking too much tea,
I’ll be heading to the toilet to fire away.

Keeping you company,
the one from 9mm who must single-handedly carry the burden of delivering all the dirty jokes,
the heroic Chihiro.

2007/09/23＊20:30＊Kamijo

『Once your own nature goes into disarray, the whole period of time does the same.』

The heat has died down a bit and it’s again effortless to pass the time.

It’s been a long time, it has.
My dream’s to be a foreigner. I’m Chihiro.

This week went by really fast.
What did I do again? Let’s try to remember.

24 hours earlier… I was eating curry, if I remember correctly. It was delicious and I was wolfing it down. Just putting it in my mouth at first, the taste was mild. However after that, it gradually gained depth and substance, and a nice hotness spread inside my mouth.

It was retort curry though. Ehe. I’m getting sidetracked☆

120 minutes prior to that, I was watching OGRE YOU ASSHOLE and POLYSICS at Ebisu Liquid. They were both great. Their performances were full of depth, substance, hotness and such.

The day before that, I sneaked into a music shop to get the sticks I ordered from Zildjian. (picture: a two-shot of the sticks and a porn mag)

86,400 seconds prior to that, I was doing seitai with Kazuhiko after studio.

Nine meals before that, we went on a quest of music shops with Midori’s drummer Kozeni to buy drums.

It was a week fairly full of substance.
I’ll do my best next week, too.

※※Postscript edit※※
Since I’m a responsible adult, I of course properly held back with the picture. I keep on living, trying my best not to make waves… since I’m a coward. If it showed nipples, they might call us a band that’s harmful to young people or something. We’re living in hard times where nipples must be hidden from Weekly Shounen Ju◯p.

Back in the old days… it was better back then.
Ah, I wanna read Wingman.

2007/09/07＊03:38＊Kamijo

『I think people can regulate other people.』

Autumn creeping on the insect making its beautiful sounds and calls, causing a typhoon which foils the insect’s plans.

Feeling sympathy for the insect who was in the middle of courting an insect lady, feeling the urge to breed.

Yes yes.
An insect in my previous life, too, I’m Chihiro.

Like, writing the preceding, I started feeling really down. Yeah.
I mean, I feel really angry and irritated. Yeah. Yay.

Now… then.
Huh, I’m starting to get drunk.

A typhoon, huh?
It must’ve been around three years ago. It was a typhoon that night, too.
“Hey Kamijo. The typhoon’s so crazy, I got in all high spirits and came over.“

With this kind of a strange excuse, Taki charged over into my house without appointment.
He slowly took off his sopping wet jeans and phoned Kazuhiko.
“Hey Kazuhiko, the typhoon’s crazy so come over to Kamijo’s place!“

And like that, the three of us just drank about.
After that, for a looong time we just played the Star Road part of Mario (for Super Nintendo).

Nope, that’s it.
There’s no joke here. I was just reminiscing.

You know, requesting jokes and stuff, you won’t grow up to be a proper adult if you keep depending on people with anything and everything like that.

You make the future with your own pair of hands, carrying it on your shoulders.
The innovation of mankind has been entrusted to you.
So stand up, youngster.
Convert your sadness into hatred and stand up, youngster.

Do not forget that us, the people of Japan, were specifically chosen.
Because we are the superior race, we stand to help the rest of mankind.
Siiiieg Zeon.

Yeah yeah yeah. Gihren Zabi, as cool as ever.
Okay, I’ll get uuuuup.

Keeping you company was Chihiro, just about to pass out from the chu-hi. Yours sincerely.

2007/08/23＊03:58＊Kamijo

『After all, in the end it’s que sera sera.』

It’s too hot, ain’t it.
So much so, I feel like repeating that.
It’s too ho– actually on second thought, I’ll hold back.

…

Goddammit, it’s way too hot.

Sun, SUN or Sun-Sun or whatever the hell you call it, it sure looks like summer hates this guy.
This is Chihiro, wondering if that’s really so.

This one trick pony, always showing off and producing such scorching heat, could you quit being such an asshole and stop with your constant nuclear fusion bullshit?
I’m telling you, it’s hot as hell.

But I suppose that’s the only thing you’re good for: continuing to bully this tiny Earth by constantly giving it a fever. As expected of someone like you who’s inflated with pride.

Because it’s too hot, I kinda got in an unsightly mood and tried picking a fight with Mother Nature.

But as I was looking at the sky with these eyes full of scorn and disdain…
“Oh wow, now what is that…” (refer to picture)

So those are the hands of the all-knowing and almighty god.

I should’ve known my place.
I took all of nature too lightly.

Us who’ve grown too self-conceited, I wonder the planet is going to do with us from now on?
I wonder if it’s already impossible for us to give up our pride.
As I thought, the ones to be weeded out are us humans, aren’t we?

It’s so hot, I was possessed by an evil spirit and started having such grave thoughts.
Buuuut now I stopped. I’ll think about something indecent instead.

Hey.
That’s kinky.

2007/08/07＊03:36＊Kamijo

『Jet black festival accompaniment』

I hope you’re doing well in this time of intense heat wave.
Of the school which prefers Häagen-Dazs over watermelons, this is Chihiro.
Of course, I haven’t forgotten about Garigari-kun¹, either.

…It’s been a while since anyone updated the blog.
Sorry, ’tis inexcusable.

Lately, we’ve been stupidly busy,
doing a stupid amount of recording and going on festivals,
and going on festivals and recording.
My mind wasn’t up to the task of only writing that once.

Oh, the festivals are super fun to the point we’re about to lose our minds.

After the horrors of my first festival experience at Fu◯ Rock,
I promised myself I’d never set my foot on festival grounds again.
But nowadays it’s actually this fun, huh…

I see. So those who keep being stuck in the past lose hold of their future.
I, too, found a way to muster up the necessary courage to overcome my fear.
I should’ve taken that first step forward earlier.

As we’re working our asses off, the results of our hard work,
the lifeblood that we call our album is steadily taking shape.
We still have ways to go with the recordings, so I’ll keep eating my Garigari-kun,
and continue whipping my diarrhea-prone ass to do its best.

(Attached picture: drum tuner Master Mihara (ex-THE ROOSTERS, ex-THE STALIN, etc…), worships Pantera.)

¹ A brand of “ice candy”

2007/07/26＊08:23＊Kamijo

『What farting taught me』

The “fart blog” I wrote a while ago has gotten a relatively warm reception from my loved ones. Ehehe. Maybe I’ll take advantage of that now. I’m drunk tonight, too, after all.

My style.
It’s to fart when sneezing.

For as long as you live, do not overlook this simple physiological phenomenon of your body.
This is your chance.

Don’t forget: what we really are is monkeys who just happened to come across the evil of something called “wisdom.”

The way you take this to an outsider’s eyes insignificant phenomenon and make it your own (or don’t), it says a lot about what kind of a person you are

“Acchoo toooot”
is
out of the question.
Your taste is lacking.
Those still wet behind the ears would probably be satisfied with just this.

“Aaah- toot”
is
just disappointing.
I can still see much room for improvement.
It just requires some control of your muscles.
Your taste ought to be buried in the plains.

“Acchoo
Toooot”
When you can do that, your refinement and elegance will be apparent to all.
However, operations of even more advanced level will become necessary.

When you reach the above-mentioned level, you won’t have worldly desires anymore like the lowly me. You will be able to attain pure, god-like intelligence as well as taste.

And that’s how it is.

In spite of all that,
you, are you still going to overlook this chance today…?

ARE. YOU. STILL. GOING. TO. OVERLOOK. IT…??

(Attachment: stinkvine, a plant of the Rubiaceae family.)

2007/07/19＊16:24＊Kamijo

『Viva. Beverage.』

I’m delighted to see everyone taking care of their health in this gloomy rainy season.
Always in puberty, I’m Chihiro.

It was… maybe the beginning of my teens.
Back then, I wasn’t interested in anything but barley tea.
Simply boiling roasted barley and drinking it. Delicious.
With just this, my world was always abundant with infinite colors.
Nowadays though, not so much.

This kind of little anecdote,
I told it during an official meeting between Mr. Junji Ijiwatari and 9mm.
Due to that, I’m lately in this kind of sorry state (refer to picture).

That noble guy, he remembered my little anecdote and got me these.
It seems like he got to take them for free at a convenience store.
Leaving it unattended during pre-production, my cell got baptized as everyone had their way with it. Junji’s always full of mischief like that.

◯-jo Barley Tea… that sure was delicious.
Those of you that put “Kami” inside the “◯”, you don’t have bad taste.
I appreciate the thought.
What I really meant to say was Raku-jo¹ though.

Well then, see ya.

¹ A brand of barley tea, see Kamijo’s cell phone straps.